I have just woken up from a deep slumber and am sitting in my gallery sipping a hot mug of coffee(which btw has not brewed the way i intended it to) and taking in the fresh morning air. Sipping the coffee, i cant stop wondering that even my life hasn't brewed the way i wanted it to. It just seems to be going nowhere. My job sucks, am away from the people close to me and i seem to have no idea what i want to do in future. And there's this sense of urgency that if i don't correct this right now, am going to be dissatisfied with life throughout. The search for that elusive thing, whose mere occurrence brings along with it a sense of pleasure still continues. Am still looking for something which i enjoy doing, something which am good at. I see people around me who are happy with the kind of mediocrity life has to offer and i wonder if ultimately even i will become one of them.I very strongly believe that we live just once and its very important to make this once worthwhile. Am not worried about the survival part, my parents have given me strong enough educational foothold that i can live my life very comfortably. What am worried about is being lost in this very crowd of people who want nothing more from life than a well paying job, a caring wife and loving children.
I understand that a lot of hard work goes into becoming someone, someone who stands away from the crowd. And am not averse to working hard. In fact it's something which i pine for. All i want is a definite direction (an understanding of which has to come from within). Everyday is a struggle to find that direction and i just hope this struggle ends before i lose my hunger.
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3 comments:
man...u r reeealy confused...
What is it that you really want? U dont want mediocrity. U want challenging work. But you dont know what exactly.
lemme tell u what i do. it may seem like crap to u. but jst listen out.
I go with the flow. simple. thats it. i do what i feel like doing. i dont care much about mediocrity or excellence coz i believe that those concepts come into play only when you start comparing urself with other people. If you are really interested, u wont care about others...eg:if u really like writing, if u really enjoy it from inside ur heart, then the concept of excellence doesn't arise only, u wont care what others are doing and how they are doing it. u will just feel like doing it and doing it and doing it, and within that feeling, we will automatically start doing it better. Thats vere improvement comes....
Of course, i hope that when i am at a ripe old age, i dont look back at my life and think "i could have done that better". and i am pretty sure that i won't think like that too...that is the single worst feeling i can imagine...
(sorry for the sermon :P)
@thor
hey thanks man...just read your comment..
although i completely agree with your philsophy but i just find it too tough to follow...comparisons are invetiable specially wen u are not doing nething significant...
i just feel like everyday is gettin wasted...
i havent yet ensconsed in this new job or this new place and it just feels like a transit period before sumthing happens...and the wait is frustrating
neways...i admire your way a lot and hope to emulate it!!
thanks for the sermon :-p
ur not alone..
no one is happy with they have..
how you choose to interpret it(whether u change it to a learning experience or u just put it down in the annals of ur journal as a challenge that never could be conquered)makes all the difference..
if u dont have the way..carve one out..
remember..this is what someone always says to me..but i have just recently understood its full meaning.."there's a grand design behind everything"
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