Surrender

Why? Why me? What did i do to deserve this? Why was i singaled out for this fate? How could this be happening to me?A lot of times in our life we are faced with such questions. Everytime fate sends us tumbling down a path we did not expect would come our way, we begin to question it. We begin to go into disbelief. We enter a mode of denail where statements like "this could not be happening to me" or " i did not deserve such a treatment," crowd the mind, blocking any sensible thought from entering it. Everytime we get hurt, by something or someone, we ask these questions. To whom?? To God (or any other power thereof), to fate, or simply to ourselves?And do we get any answers?

At times like these,we simply need to surrender, to let go, to accept things the way they stand. And trust me, it helps.
Iam not someone who believed in this. But then how long do you hold onto such questions? because there are no answers.
This was supposed to happen and could not have happened in any other way. Sounds highly cliched, but then most true things do.
There is no one to be blamed.Not even one's self.

And the moment you surrender, these questions disappear. Atleast they did for me. There's this tranquality which begins to set in and ummmm.... well you start getting sensible again. (which i hope am sounding!!).


I read a line once in a book "If fate doesnt make you laugh, then you just dont get the joke." Laugh it out dude. Thats all it deserves.

Serendipities: The Dirty Facets of the Indian Democracy

Serendipities: The Dirty Facets of the Indian Democracy

The Dirty Facets of the Indian Democracy

I have been intending to write this post for the past week but just couldn't squeeze in time. Just a few points

1.To Mr. Manmohan Singh: You are a very intelligent person and we believe in you. Don't let this belief down. Be a read Sardar. Stand up for once and lead this nation of billion instead of being yourself led by dirty politics.

2.To Mr. George Bush: You have been and will be the best example ever of "Power in a fool's hand is very dangerous". There's still time to correct this. Leave the oval respectfully. Get the fact straight that Islamabad is no one's ally. Enough damaged has been done and its time we rectified it. And unfortunately we need your help. Do what is right and not what is profitable.

3. To Mr. Raj Thakrey: You cant keep your stinking mouth shut if someone from your own country but from a different state comes to Maharashtra and apparently tries to take away Maharashtrian's job. But you seem to be completely unfazed by the fact that someone from outside this country comes and brutally murders people from the so called "your state". Not a word you have spoken about it. Its people like you who bring shame to this country.

4. To Mr. V.S. Achuthanandan : The house you say even a dog wont enter, did allow a pig to enter but had to chase it away because it stank. Just to make it clear (coz am pretty sure you wont be able to comprehend it with your pea brain), iam talking about you. That was the house of a martyr who laid down his life trying to save his countrymen. You should have entered his house barefoot because its nothing less than a temple.

Bhagwat Geeta rewritten (or rather re recited) for IT Professionals

Simply hillarious. I specially like the part where it talks about the never ending nature of error. Its like "Error is Forever". And also the footer askin everyone to Hurry Home at 5.30.

I have been what we call "benching" for the past 3 months and it was kindoff getting frustrating. But reading this new "An IT Professionals Bhagwat Geeta", i seem to have calmed down and have no qualms about sitting on bench anymore. :-p.

Life's losings its direction

I have just woken up from a deep slumber and am sitting in my gallery sipping a hot mug of coffee(which btw has not brewed the way i intended it to) and taking in the fresh morning air. Sipping the coffee, i cant stop wondering that even my life hasn't brewed the way i wanted it to. It just seems to be going nowhere. My job sucks, am away from the people close to me and i seem to have no idea what i want to do in future. And there's this sense of urgency that if i don't correct this right now, am going to be dissatisfied with life throughout. The search for that elusive thing, whose mere occurrence brings along with it a sense of pleasure still continues. Am still looking for something which i enjoy doing, something which am good at. I see people around me who are happy with the kind of mediocrity life has to offer and i wonder if ultimately even i will become one of them.I very strongly believe that we live just once and its very important to make this once worthwhile. Am not worried about the survival part, my parents have given me strong enough educational foothold that i can live my life very comfortably. What am worried about is being lost in this very crowd of people who want nothing more from life than a well paying job, a caring wife and loving children.

I understand that a lot of hard work goes into becoming someone, someone who stands away from the crowd. And am not averse to working hard. In fact it's something which i pine for. All i want is a definite direction (an understanding of which has to come from within). Everyday is a struggle to find that direction and i just hope this struggle ends before i lose my hunger.

Untitled (i cant think of a title for this post)

Bombay Rains, Bombay Girls
A book by Anirban Bose

Well i just finished reading this book (the first book i have read in one sitting..... i just could not put it down).It was labeled as a Medical College's version of Five Point Someone, which i very strongly beg to differ.I found it way better.

Anyways, i didn't intend to write about the book. The reason i decided to write this blog (at 5.30 in the morning), was that while reading the book, a deluge of emotions rushed through me.I was taken back to my college days (an engg. college btw) and kind off relived all the ups and downs i went through during those 4 years.I made friends, very good friends.....lost some....made friends with the lost one's again eventually losing them yet again. Its been for quite a while now that i have been fighting the urge to let these emotions out, always reassuring myself that it would do no good.

But i guess am done now.I have seen so many different shades of friendships that sometimes it makes me doubt my own credentials(for want of some other more apt word) as a good friend.

Have i been the kind of friend i expect my friends to be? Have i been true to them, and true to myself? And the answer is yes.I would not say that i have not hurt people, some very close to me, by my actions, but then that has never been the intent of the same. I find it extremely hard to give explanations to people who matter to me because i assume they are the ones who know me best and if i still have to give them explanations about my actions, whats the point of them being close.

I know am simply rambling, but its kinda tough to stop it.I have been hated, loathed, abhorred for the things i haven't even done or even ever thought of doing.

But then this is what life is i guess.At the end of it all, i still have a few very close people, whom i cherish to the utmost, who love me unconditionally, despite all my pitfalls and who ,i know ,shall always stand by my side. I just hope i can give back to them all this and even more.

Part of the ocean...

A small story i read in the book Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom (one of the best books i have read so far)

The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air- until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore. "My God, this is terrible" the wave says. "Look whats going to happen to me !" Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, " Why do you look so sad?" The first wave says, " You don't understand! We are all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?" The second wave says, "No , you don't understand! You are not a wave, you are part of the ocean.

I do not believe that i fully grasp the meaning of this allegory, but from whatever i interpreted of it, it has had a humbling effect on me.

Being In Twenties Something *

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...

and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

*[This article has been "inspired" (a euphemism for copied word to word) from an email i received. I just wanted it to be on my blog, so here it is......]

Different Gods...So Many Of Them

OK, this is something which occurred to me while reading this book by Kiran Desai "The Inheritance of Loss". One of the characters in the book, Harish-Harry, is someone whose trying to live two lives at the same time (my interpretation....might differ from the author's). Trying to please two gods at the same time so that when the time comes of Knocking at Heaven's door, he's allowed to pass irrespective of the god whose assigned to evaluate him.(this conviction "of mine" is based on the fact that since there are so many gods, so many religions, each different god is assigned( through consensus of course) the role of the patriarch of a particular religion).
So i just started wondering, what if one has prayed, idolised one god all his lifetime and when he reaches those coveted doors, he finds someone else standing there waiting to evaluate him.Some one he didn't even know existed. What happens then?Will he be let through?

Well the guy had been plain stupid for having kept faith in just one god!! When the odds were so heavily stacked against him, what with so many of gods to please, he should have at least kept few more of them as his potential bets. He might have lived a very honest and virtuous life, but to what avail? The god he was so very much trying to appease, wasn't even there to welcome him to the heavens above.

So what should one do, to live a peaceful life up above, once he's done living the one here?He can either try and please as many gods as he possibly can thereby increasing his chances of meeting the right or desired god when the time comes. But in the course , losing his peace of mind. Or he can live his life on the following two principles:
(i) Stop living your life as a means to an end.Live it not to please someone but to please only yourself.
(ii) And who cares whether its heaven up there or hell.As long as you are here, make this your heaven.

The Resurrection

The title may seem heavy, but that is what is happening..Although my initial blogging days did not last long, this time i plan to be much more committed and regular...And this time, its got to do more with the superfluousness of time than anything else.
So now sit back and enjoy coz the blogs now are gonna me much more interesting,and also ...please do visit my other blog as well..i.e. debaters-haven.blogspot.com and help me move beyond my first post there...